Kids have terrible judgement. My 4yo comes into our room every morning at 5am, wakes his mummy up, tells her that he loves her, and then HE goes back to sleep. What a cvnt. The only time you want to hear "I love you" at 5am is on the way home from the pub. This … Continue reading Kids have terrible judgement – Happy Mother’s Day
Hair you can plait: the old man and his eyebrows
I’m getting older, there’s no escaping it. I'm not really old; my age is mid. My body, like my slang, lacks riz. It's a well worn trope of comedy, discussing where the hair has stopped growing and redirected to where it isn't wanted or thought to be. (Like earlobes, what the actual fuck?) I started … Continue reading Hair you can plait: the old man and his eyebrows
Kent Michael and Russell Hartup Told Jokes – Fringe 2026 wrap up
It’s been nearly two weeks since Fringe ended and I can still feel the love and excitement in my veins. Who would have thought that tickets were harder to get than diesel?
First impressions are important, so here’s my Arnold Schwarzenegger
When you meet new people it's always good to get off on the right foot. (Especially if you're meeting Quentin Tarantino.) First impressions form quickly and are hard to break. How did I fare in my new job?
How to make air travel worse (spoiler: take children) – Plus! Adelaide Fringe announcement
We had survived nearly 40 hours of flying international without any trouble. But on the approach to land in Adelaide we got a glimpse of the hierarchical structure of the airline industry. All it took was for my child to vomit all over the floor in front of his seat with no one to help us.