Today was my birthday and I have COVID. Again. My boys have COVID too, and I am well aware that it is less than a week out from Christmas. It isn’t fun, would not recommend, and I would rather be out celebrating than walking up and down my hallway with a tissue shoved up my nose. However, that voice in my head reminding me of all the things I have failed to do this year has been silenced with brain fog. It’s a relief and subsequently I’m happy. I guess that’s why it’s called “COVID positive”.
In a classic case of stereotyping, I haven’t got my Christmas gifts sorted either. Now there is no way I can ethically do it without risking everyone around me getting the spicy cough. T’is the season for good natured Christmas memes from aunts telling us that presents aren’t what Christmas is about. I hope it’s true and everyone enjoys the thoughts I got them – the bit that counts.
It was my eldest son who brought COVID home from childcare. The great petri dish where even COVID comes away with a cold. We suspect that the eldest gave it to the youngest who eventually gave it to me. I was testing everyday and I was passing everyday. I managed to dodge it until I didn’t and was found wanting. I beat those tests and it was all for nothing. I’m like the Lance Armstrong of COVID.
I’m not feeling too bad, just really tired and foggy, so I am only fearing the end. If it’s anything like last time our house is going to be pretty trashed. Trying to keep a house tidy with children is hard enough as it is – as soon as you clean something it is messy again, it’s like trying to dry your tears in the rain. Having a preschooler and a toddler confined for a week and not being healthy enough to deal with the filth leaves the place catastrophically hard to clean up. The last time this house had COVID my wife and I surveyed the wreckage of our living room, looked at each other and thought, “maybe we should just move”.
We should be out by Christmas and will be able to travel to see family and friends – it’s no big deal staying home for a couple of days. It’s a bit shit being out of focus on my birthday but I’ve had worse, and my boys are still here. I only hope the brain fog can last a little longer for a truly happy new year.
Merry Christmas.
My new show “Russell Hartup is Tired” will be at the 2023 Adelaide Fringe, and is on sale now. Tickets are limited so get in quick because Fringe will be over before you know it.
Tix: https://adelaidefringe.com.au/fringetix/russell-hartup-is-tired-af2023
Russell Hartup 